It’s been a while

It’s been a while since I’ve written, typed lines on a screen or put pen to paper. It’s been a while since I’ve risen early to a quiet house with the warmth of coffee and the comfort of scripture. It’s been a while since I walked with my friend, and shared my heart and my fears. It’s been a while since I’ve just laughed and played with my kids without worry or agenda. It’s been a while since I’ve rested, truly had a soul rest, where I knew it would all work out.

Why is this? I think I’ll blame it on Summer. I stay up late, we sleep in, I lose my rhythm and routine. We have more fun but the discipline fades a little. So does my intention. Apathy shows up as well, and things, important things slip away. It’s my fault too, but Summer is going to be my scapegoat. 

But there was a day this week I rose early with anxiety and poured my heart out to God reading Psalm 16…”Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest. You will show me the path of life. I find joy in your presence.”

There was a day this week that I walked with my friend and remembered that I don’t have to change my surroundings to find peace. The Peacemaker is my best friend and lives inside me.

There was a day this week that I forgot about the chores and that unanswered prayer and played an hour of board games with two of my boys.

And there must be a day this week that I find that soul rest and truly believe Psalm 16, that the Lord is my portion and that is enough, that I have a perfect inheritance because my Abba is a King – making me his princess, that He counsels me even in sleep and I cannot be shaken because He is holding my outreached hand, that He will show me the path of life, the answers and way in the midst of uncertainty.

It’s been a while since I have believed this, this truth of who I am and what I have because of him and what he did.

It’s been too long of a while.


3 thoughts on “It’s been a while

  1. I found your blog for the first time when you wrote “Being Present” and I have read everything you have shared since that day. Your gift of being able to write with such clarity your feelings and connection God speaks directly to my soul and brings me joy and hope.. I cannot wait to read what you have written.


    1. Thank you so much! Sometimes I wonder if anyone is reading! That feels good and that is my goal, to draw folks closer to Jesus.


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