35 hours of training. That’s what I had to get to renew my counseling license. 35 hours of sitting at a table surrounded by smart, insightful and caring people. People that go into the trenches and help the hurting, I mean really hurting, people.
It has been amazing…and terrifying. It’s been almost 8 years since I sat professionally with a wounded soul. It’s been almost 8 years of raising the boys, caring for my home, my husband and the family we made. And now it’s time to go back, go back into the trenches with the hurting…and I am scared.
I am scared that I don’t remember anything. I don’t remember what to say or recommend when you tell me your marriage is falling apart or you can’t stop the voices in your head or your teen won’t come out of their room. However, if you need a baby wipe or some cheerios, then I’m your girl. I can get a stain out for you and I can fit 6 of you in my dirty car and get you wherever you need to go. But if you need me to walk you thru your trauma or your tragedy or your trial…that’s a different story. And you want to pay me for this? No way. No way can I take your money because I’m really a mess too, and I surely can’t tell you how to climb out of your mess. The inside of my head is scrambled, so why would you want me to help you sort out yours?
So, 35 hours of training and even more hours of doubt and fear. It’s really been a battlefield here the past few months…a battlefield of my mind…can I do this, should I do this, what will I say, can I really help?….but I’m doing this…
I landed in 1 Corinthians this week…not by chance I know. Paul is speaking to his church friends in Corinth. They are in a mess. There is diversity and disorder among the congregation. There is confusion and conflict on what to believe and who to believe, questions over spiritual gifts and how to use them, really just a mess…and I totally identify with them.
Here are some really good words that Paul has left us. If your head feels a little jumbled or worn out, well…
I Corinthians 1 (NLT)
Vs 7 “You have every spiritual gift you need”
Vs 9 “He always does just what He says”
Vs 24 “Christ is the wisdom of God”
Vs 25 “God’s weakness is far stronger than the greatest of human strength”
1 Corinthians 2
Vs 3 “I came to you in weakness…but the Holy Spirit was powerful among you”
Vs 6 “I do not speak of the wisdom that belongs to this world…the wisdom we speak of is the secret wisdom of God”
Vs 12 “God has given us his Spirit so we can know…”
Vs 13 “We do not use words of human wisdom, we speak words given to us by the Spirit”
Vs 16 “We have the mind of Christ”
And my favorite: 1 Corinthians 4:20 “The Kingdom of God is not just fancy talk, it is living by God’s power.”
All this time, I have been anxious, wanting to be fancy. To be a fancy pants, a wise and respected therapist in my community and among my peers. The fears of failure and looking like a stay-at-home fool among the tenured and educated have hit hard. Well, I think I will just be a fancy pants for Jesus and live using His words, His wisdom and His power when I sit with His children. He will equip me and give me EVERYTHING I need. He will do the same for you friend.
Thank goodness His kingdom is not just fancy talk, but it is living by His power to fulfill His plan and His purpose!